Yay! I'm so excited to create this evite for Jen's partaay! OMG she will be so shocked and happy when she sees it! I'm going to find a less than flattering picture of her and put it on there for everyone to see! I'm so clever! She looks so fat and puffy in that picture though, I hope it doesn't make her go on a coke binge and not eat for a week like last time!
I'm going to copy every single email address I've ever come across and send this to them! Wow, 1,533 people on the evite! I really hope Ben in in the marketing department shows up. Stacy said she needs to get laid this weekend and Ben is such a man-whore, those two would be perfect!!
Us ladies are going to look sooo hot for Jen's party! We're all going to have a secret girls-only dinner beforehand so we can talk about how hot we are and who has gained the most weight! Of course we will all snort adderall before dinner so we will fill up on salad (no bread, can't have any carbs!). Then we'll just drink wine (I so love my red!) and get so shitfaced!
I'm going to invite Jen's ex boyfriend Luke so I can make it totally awkward for them! That would be hilarious! But really I just want to give Luke a BJ like I used to do when he and Jen were together! If she only knew!
I need to think of something clever to say on the evite! I know! ..."Can you all believe Jen has made it to 35? Good thing she lost all that weight! We all know her secret so I'll just say she likes to go skiing a lot! N E ways, I hope you all can make it for Jens night of debauchery! P.S. Please bring with you $300 cash so you can cover the cost of us getting the 5 tables, thanks!!"
Ok, clicking send now! I can't wait for the next bday, yay!
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Is this about Jen Bui? Sorry, that was mean.
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