My SUV makes me invincible

I fucking love my SUV!  It gets 5mpg, but I just put my gas on my credit card and just pay off the interest!  I love just changing lanes in traffic without looking!  People will respect me on the road because my ride is so huge!  It's raining and snowing outside, fucking awesome!  I'm going to go 90mph because I have 4 wheel drive and there's no way I'll lose control!  I'll be safe because I drive a tank!  Oh, hey buddy, you want over?  Oh, that's nice, you put your blinker on.  Well guess what, fuck you buddy!  I'm going to speed up and make sure  you don't get in front of ME!  Listen to the Hemi baby!  Uh oh, I just lost traction!  Whoa, I just tipped over!  There must be something wrong with my 4 wheel drive!  I'm not worried though, I'm in a motherfucking american made steel tank!  Yeaaaah!  I just flipped over the guard rail!  I'm just going to unbuckle my seatbelt just to prove how safe my SUV is!  Here comes a semi truck!  He's going to fucking nail me!  I bet you two red bull and vodkas that he just bounces right off of me!  Oh shit!  Where the fuck am I?  I'm plastered to the semi's grill!  My SUV is so safe that it must have ejected me from the truck to save my life!  Fucking awesome!  Damn look at that traffic jam!  I bet everyone is going to be so happy because they won't be at work because they are sitting there.  And it's all because of me and my awesome SUV!